It has been 25 years since I graduated from high school. If I had not known that before, I certainly would have learned it through the weekly mail and email reminders that my high school has sent me for several months. With this momentous occasion comes the big "R". That's right my friends, the reunion. The word that strikes both excitement and fear, nostalgia and anxiety. Maybe you are not like me. Maybe from the first day you get that save the date card you know you are going. You put it on your calendar and start planning what to wear. For me, the save the date card, placed on my refrigerator, was not a reminder to go, but a reminder to decide if I wanted to go. That card watched me every day, like one of those oil paintings where the eyes follow you around. It mocked me as I changed my mind, seemingly daily. OK, so it really didn't mock me but it felt like it.
I have a love/hate relationship with high school. While I was in it, I loved it. But as time went on and I lost touch with every single high school friend, I felt further and further isolated from that time. I also have a bit of a complex about being remembered, or more accurately, not remembered. I had several instances where I saw someone I knew from years ago and started to wave, only to realize that the person was looking right past me, or right through me. So, my wave turned into that awkward half-wave where I quickly put my hand down and hope nobody noticed.
I am not making this up. Really. Here is the best example. I used to work for a university. During one time period I was simultaneously hosting a webradio program on the campus radio station, had my picture featured on marketing pieces and on the website, and was constantly speaking at campus events. However, when my colleague and I would be out and about on campus, people, some of whom I had met even more than once, would say hello to him and ignore me. Or they would say that it was nice to meet me, even though they had previously met me. It became such a running joke that my colleague created the phrase "over exposed but nobody knows" to describe me. I know, hard to believe given my knack for entertaining whimsy but it's true.
Back to the reunion. Obviously, my biggest fear was that I would walk in to a sea of people who think they have never laid eyes on me before. To avoid this I used facebook to see if any of my facebook friends from high school would be attending and luckily some are (and they are even ones that I really do care to see, bonus!) So, I decided to go. But something still kept me from registering until just a couple of days ago. Now the deed is done and I can't back out now. Well, I can but then I am out $50.
The one plus that could have come from not keeping in touch with high school friends is that I could have made up a fabulous alter ego for myself and nobody would have known the different. But facebook ruined that for me. Because of facebook, those high school chums on my friend list know too much about me already. They know I am currently unemployed, married, have two kids, have two cats, can't cook, watch American Idol, love chocolate, etc. (um....maybe I post a bit too often??) No mystery there. Oh well, so much for being as astrophysicist/circus clown who has a history of philanthropy and was a contestant on the first season of Survivor but had to back out because she was donating a kidney to a homeless man.
So, I am going, and I am looking forward to it. Will it be a triumphant return? A regretful failure? Somewhere in the middle? Stay tuned my readers, stay tuned...
