I regularly see articles
shared on Facebook with the title “Things I learned in my 40’s”. I cringe when I see these lists, because I
end up not agreeing with each item and that makes me feel like I have failed at
being 40-something.
For example, each list always
contains some version of “I no longer give a crap about what others think of
me.” If only that were true for me. I inherited the “always give a crap about
what others think of you” gene from my mom, and there is no expiration date on
it. This does not apply in some circumstances.
I truly don’t give a crap if my neighbors see me in Stop and Shop
looking like I just rolled out of bed. However,
I am still a work in progress with regard to the need to be liked and the need
to be needed. That being said, I have
become better at just saying “no” to doing things that I really don’t want to
do. I definitely have always had FOMO
(fear of missing out) but nowadays that fear has its ass beaten regularly by
the desire to sit on my sectional couch (I always wanted one) and watch
whatever is on TBS.
The realization that
mortality is inevitable is another concept that is always on these lists. I’m on board with that one. My parents both passed away at the age of
81. When I was younger, if you would
have said to me that someone passed at that age, I would have said something like
“wow! 81! That person lived a long, long life. It must have been time.” Now, my reaction is
more like “81?? I can’t die at 81! That’s the age that I planned to stop giving
a crap about what others think of me!!”
Writers of these lists have
come to the peaceful conclusion that the laundry will always be there, that
time spent worrying about the state of one’s house is time spent not enjoying
life. Let’s be real for a moment, shall
we? While I am far from being meticulous
when it comes to the neatness of my house (just ask my husband, he’ll tell you)
I spend some time every single day straightening up, doing laundry, and/or going
through the large stacks of papers that take over my dining room table. You would never know it, because actually
getting ahead is impossible. As soon as
I put something away, one of my children is taking two more things out. If I
actually subscribed to the philosophy that “it can wait”, every inch of my
floor would be covered with Shopkins, hair ties and craft projects. Yes, often my 7 year old is asking me to play
with her as I scurry around the house.
And, yes, I feel bad when I tell her that I can’t play with her at that
time. And that is why the Lord above
created YouTube.
So, what have I actually
learned in my 40’s? I’ve learned that
some people who you thought would always be a part of your life, won’t be, but
that people who you thought were long gone can come back.
I’ve learned that we are all
struggling with something. Everyone has
a story. Everyone.
I’ve learned that aside from
family and friends, everyone should have something that brings them joy,
something that makes them smile, something to escape to. For me, this is music.
I’ve learned that as much as
I was always determined to not make the same mistakes that I thought my parents
did, I will. But I have also learned
that the key to parenting is communication.
I communicate the crap out of my kids, whether they like it or not.
What have you learned?
